Tuesday, August 4, 2009

What in the world!!!

I simply cannot believe this.

I have been trying to start my C2K program for a month now. I finally, FINALLY made it through the first week and I was feeling pretty good about it. What happens as I start my second week? The lamp globe that is over my light on the top of the stairs in my basement decides to fall..... yes just fall. I am at the bottom coming up the stairs, I hit the light switch, the lamp globe falls, bounces down the stairs and shatters all over the stairs while at the same time SLICING my ankle. Not my foot, not my thigh (I had on shorts) but my ANKLE!!!!!!!!!

I am bleeding all over the stairs. What is the first thing that comes out of my mouth? I wonder if I can still start my second week tomorrow. UGH!@!! Now I am all stitched up and can barely move my left food. Why oh why did it slice my ankle.... geez!

I was going to get mad. Then I said to myself this is a sign. Then I told myself to get a grip. I can still exercise the next 12 days (which is how long I was told to keep off my foot). It will just have to be yoga or ab work. I tried to find an excuse to just throw up my hands, but there are none. I can still exercise. So tomorrow, yoga here I come. If that is still too hard on my ankle, I can do abs.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Face it to Erase it!

I was sitting in my recliner one night watching Suze Orman discussing how one must face their debt in order to erase it. I decided that this would be my new mantra. I need to face the fact that I am now a parent of two little ones and get over it. I have completely lost myself these past few months trying to get my footing on this new place in my life. My husband travels for a living thus making me a single parent from time to time. Instead of focusing on creating healthy meals, I pick the fast and easy just to keep my sanity. Then my sister called this week to tell me that her, her husband and my mom all have high blood pressure. That stopped me dead in my tracks. It is now time to face up to my weight, get over it and start erasing it.

Yes I have two kids but what about those with 4, 5, or 6…. Boo hoo. The pity party has to stop. I am now back to my original weight before I got pregnant. Yes, that means I have regained ALL the 30lbs that I have lost. Sigh …. I need to get a grip. The year is almost over and my son will soon be 1 in December. That means a whole year of wallowing around in my excuses.

I think I am going to start with mall walking in the morning at 9 to jump start my new journey.

Time to face it to erase it!

Friday, March 27, 2009

What is my actual goal

My actual goal is to be IN my child's life. When I look at the pictures from my first son, I am nowhere to be found. Now that my second son is here, I want to be IN his life. I am tired of hiding from the pictures. I do not want to be the mom who can't keep up with her kids or is afraid to volunteer because of my size. I do not want to be the "fat" mom.

I want to start living my life and stop hiding under all this weight. I want to be healthy. It is time. My actual goal is to live my best life. It is to become the person that I was put on this earth to be; not the shadow that I am living.

The journey is going to be long and hard. It will be uncomfortable because I will have to confront some truths about myself. I am going to have to battle with the self-sabotage. This is more than just about food. It is allowing myself to forgive my mistakes, get rid of my past and let go of the unrealistic expectations that were put on me by myself, family and friends.

Ready or not...

My mind is making me tired

So my little one is almost three months. In between taking care of him and merely thinking about what I need to do, I get tired. I am so tired that I have gained 7lbs since his birth. What is that about?

I just thought I should drop in since I have been "thinking" about it for a month.

Gotta go ... I am going to think about Roni's question "What is your ACTUAL goal".

I will chat about it tomorrow.

My birthday

So today starts off another year for me. This week I was able to put away all of my maternity clothes. Yes, that is right. A mere 30 days after birth, they no longer fit. This is attibuted to the weight I loss during my pregnancy. Now I am fitting into those clothes that were buried in the back of my closet because they were too snug. They are now falling off which is good, but scary. This means that I have to continue on this journey without the help of being pregnant. Now that sounds weird; usually it is the other way around.

Well today I am going to try to get in a shower before noon and merely wash the dishes in the sink. For those with little ones, taking a shower before noon is such a victory for me. I am also determined to make it three more months breastfeeding. Why only four months? Well that is how long I could go with my first one. I had supply issues and had to supplement. I am doing that now as well. I am taking fenugreek but it is making Noah so fussy! I might need to reexamine my food choices and water intake. But I am not stressed. I am going to a lactation consultant in a couple of weeks so I should be fine after that. I hope.